I need your help!!!!

[Details]

http://www.kazemedia.com/clients/firstclass/index.htm

PLEASE go through this website concept!!!! I have spent alot of money on this and I'm sure you detail guys know how to critique a website...

[240SX]

Re: I need your help!!!!

http://www.kazemedia.com/clients/firstclass/index.htm

PLEASE go through this website concept!!!! I have spent alot of money on this and I'm sure you detail guys know how to critique a website...

I'm no detailing guy, but you're paragraph on the home page needs some rewording.

Try this:

With busy schedules, most people don't have the time to take care of their second most expensive investment, their cars. That's where First Class Detailing comes in. We provide busy individuals with on-site mobile detailing services. Our mobile unit comes complete with spot free water, power, and top of the line products to keep your car in showroom shape. We offer weekly, monthly and quarterly packages to fit any budget.


Also,


Signature Wax: We offer the highest quality wax made by Zymol. These waxes are specifically engineered for exotic makes such as Ferrari, Lamborghini and Porsche. Zymol Ital Glaze contains 47% carnauba while the Zymol Galsur Glaze contains 56% carnauba creating the most brilliant shine. A primer for the paint has to be applied before the Glaze. This will ensure 100% wax bonding to the surface, while removing any environmental fallout, and creating an even greater lustre. The wax is then applied coat by coat according to how you want it. Zymol Estate Glazes are safe for all paint types and colors.


One more thing, instead of putting "Reccomendations:......." put "First Class Reccomends:...."
It makes you sound like you know what you're doing IMO

[Details]

Re: I need your help!!!!

Thank you sir!!! Everyone and anyone say the littlest thing that you dislike about this website..... thanks guys

[CieraSL]

Re: I need your help!!!!

Looks pretty good to me! I like your home page and your photo gallery. Excellent job on those. Pretty much all I saw were some spelling errors. I copied the areas that I saw, highlighted the errors in red, then put the correct spelling next to it in blue. Spelling errors really detract from a website and make you look less professional, and we really don't want that! Hope this helps!


Under FAQ's:

*What froms (forms) of payment do you except?

*Clay bar:
A process of hydro planning (planing) a block of clay across the surface to remove environmental fallout that bonds to your paint such as tree sap mist, bugs, light waterspots, tar, overspray, rail dust this process leaves the finish absolutely smooth to the touch and removes previously applied polishes and waxes. It is recommended to follow this step with polish and wax.

Is there any way you could reword your response under clay bar? Everyone on MOL knows what you're talking about, but it sounds rather aggressive to the average consumer. Autogeek has a pretty good definition, maybe you could go something along those lines. http://www.autogeek.net/clbaandlu.ht...FQ2fnAodLjYeAA

*Paint Correction:
A process of clay baring (barring), wet sanding, compounding, polishing, and waxing to acheive the perfect level of shine, clarity, and protection of paint. This yields about a 90% correction rate on most cars, and can save you from spending a few $1,000 on a new paint job. Biweekly or monthly maintenence is recommended after this process.

*Body Shop and Dealership Clean Up:
....There (Their) business is to SELL cars, not DETAIL them. Free estimates are always given upon request.

*Carpet Redying: (Redyeing)
Steam cleaning may not remove all stains, at this point it is up to you to decide whether or not you want to redye your carpets or floor mats. These colors are O.E.M matched and are specific to your make.

[Details]

Re: I need your help!!!!

thank you very much

[Details]

Re: I need your help!!!!

Man I didnt know so many people would look at a thread and not post a reply..... Im just asking for a few minutes of your time people.....

[jfelbab]

Re: I need your help!!!!

I see lots of areas for improvement in consistent use of punctuation and spelling corrections. There were several areas where you should have had commas and they were missing. Like this sentence, for example:

"With busy schedules most people don't have the time to take care of the second most expensive investment their car."

"With busy schedules, most people don't have the time to take care of the second most expensive investment, their car.

Actually I'd rewrite this to read:
"Due to busy schedules, most people don't have the time to take proper care of their second most expensive investment... their car."

And the proper use of words like this:
"Signature Wax: We offer the highest quality wax produced from Zymol."
"Signature Wax: We offer the highest quality wax produced by Zymol."
(small quibble)

If you use the format; ( service 1: $30 -$30 ) in one area you should be consistent and not use the ( service 2: $30-$30 ) in another. Either add the space or don't add the space. I'd suggest it should look like; (service 3: $30 - $30 ). Better yet, use a table for your pricing and services. There are just too many pricing options to get my head around easily. I'd simplify this.

Watch for spelling and capitalization errors like this in your FAQ:

What froms of payment do you except?
We except cash, master card, visa and american express.

I'm sure you meant:
What forms of payment do you except?
We except cash, Mastercard, Visa and American Express.

There were several others, so take time to run this by a spell checker and maybe a proof reader. Little errors like this stand out to me and I suspect you are after perfection. That is the image you want to project to your potential clients and you therefore need to project that via your web site.

Your definition of terms leaves me wondering as well. Especially when you state how long a carnauba or a sealant will last. We both know the longevity of these products is quite variable depending on the environment and I see potential trouble for you with your claims. I can see someone leaving a vehicle out 24/7 in the hot wet FL summer and asking why their carnauba isn't beading and why it wore out after only a couple months. I'd suggest dropping any longevity claims and concentrate on the appearance characteristics of each.

I'd also put these term definitions under a separate heading.

I'd maybe suggest a map to show your primary area of mobile service. Outside the area you add a trip fee based on mileage. I'd avoid charging based on minutes as I can see you getting stuck in traffic on I-75 for hours and not being able to explain that to a client. A map makes it easy for potential clients to understand.

I think I might also add a paragraph to point out the value of properly maintaining a vehicle, especially in these tough economic times. Properly maintained vehicles tend to last longer and bring a higher trade-in value when that time comes. With many keeping their cars longer, your detailing can be a great investment. yada...yada...yada.

Just some suggestions. Good luck.

[Details]

Re: I need your help!!!!

thanks for the input

[J. A. Michaels]

Re: I need your help!!!!

Other then what the others have spotted. I would raise your r/v prices. $5.00 a foot seems too little. For example a 37 ft. toy hauler would come out to $185.00. That is less then some of your services for a car @ $190.00.

[Details]

Re: I need your help!!!!

thanks J.A.

[BigRed150]

Re: I need your help!!!!

Looks pretty good to me! I like your home page and your photo gallery. Excellent job on those. Pretty much all I saw were some spelling errors. I copied the areas that I saw, highlighted the errors in red, then put the correct spelling next to it in blue. Spelling errors really detract from a website and make you look less professional, and we really don't want that! Hope this helps!


Under FAQ's:

*What froms (forms) of payment do you except?

*Clay bar:
A process of hydro planning (planing) a block of clay across the surface to remove environmental fallout that bonds to your paint such as tree sap mist, bugs, light waterspots, tar, overspray, rail dust this process leaves the finish absolutely smooth to the touch and removes previously applied polishes and waxes. It is recommended to follow this step with polish and wax.

Is there any way you could reword your response under clay bar? Everyone on MOL knows what you're talking about, but it sounds rather aggressive to the average consumer. Autogeek has a pretty good definition, maybe you could go something along those lines. www .autogeek.net/clbaandlu.html?gclid=CJGatu_qtZsCFQ2fnAodLjYeAA

*Paint Correction:
A process of clay baring (barring), wet sanding, compounding, polishing, and waxing to acheive the perfect level of shine, clarity, and protection of paint. This yields about a 90% correction rate on most cars, and can save you from spending a few $1,000 on a new paint job. Biweekly or monthly maintenence is recommended after this process.

*Body Shop and Dealership Clean Up:
....There (Their) business is to SELL cars, not DETAIL them. Free estimates are always given upon request.

*Carpet Redying: (Redyeing)
Steam cleaning may not remove all stains, at this point it is up to you to decide whether or not you want to redye your carpets or floor mats. These colors are O.E.M matched and are specific to your make.

*What froms (forms) of payment do you except? should be accept NOT except

[Michael Stoops]

Re: I need your help!!!!

Nice looking website!

On your Services page you may want to make use of some borderless tables to more cleanly arrange the price lists. This section:

Automobile Detailing
Cars: S.U.V.'s, Trucks, and Minivans:
Full Service Wash $30................................................$30
Exterior Wash n Wax: $45..........................................$55
Full Service Wash n Wax: $60.....................................$75
Complete Interior Steam Clean: $60.............................$75
Full Service Wash n Interior Steam Clean: $75..............$90
Full Service Wash Wax n Steam Clean: $120...............$135
Complete Exterior Detail: $120....................................$135
Complete Exterior Detail n Interior Wipedown: $135......$150
Full Service Detail: $180.............................................$200

... looks a bit ragged with the lines ending at different points. It looks as though you're giving a price range here, right? With a borderless table you would essentially have two columns, one for the service description and the other for price. Things would line up beautifully without showing any grid lines.

[Details]

Re: I need your help!!!!

thank you for your help guys!!!!! its greatly appreciated

[Details]

Re: I need your help!!!!

anyone else?

[silverjag]

Re: I need your help!!!!

Not to beat a horse here, but the most grammatically correct way is:

Try to avoid excessive colloquial writing; many people (myself included look for professionalism and proper prose when choosing a purchase; anything less than perfect and I have reason to take my business elsewhere). Hope that doesn't sound too rude, I'm just trying to help.

Anyway, back to that sentence. This is what I would add in:

Original:
"Due to busy schedules, most people don't have the time to take proper care of their second most expensive investment... their car."

Revised:
The twenty-first century imposes our lives with hectic schedules; most people do not have the time to take proper and decorous care of their precious investments: their cars.

You want to make sure you stay consistent: schedules, people = investmentS.
investmentS = carS
investment = car
feel free to experiment and tweak with whatever style and prose you prefer

Good luck and feel free to ask for further help.