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Some Funnies.....

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  • Some Funnies.....

    WISDOM - FROM THE MANUAL

    --------------------------------------------

    "If the enemy is in range, so are you."

    Infantry Journal

    ---------------------------------------------

    "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."

    U.S. Air Force Manual

    ---------------------------------------------

    "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."

    - General MacArthur

    ---------------------------------------------

    "You, you, and you . Panic. The rest of you, come with me."

    - U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.

    ---------------------------------------------

    "Tracers work both ways."

    - U.S. Army Ordnance

    ---------------------------------------------

    "Five second fuses only last three seconds."

    - Infantry Journal

    ---------------------------------------------

    "Any ship can be a minesweeper....Once."

    ---------------------------------------------

    "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."

    - Unknown Marine Recruit

    ---------------------------------------------

    Clean it, if it's Dirty.

    Oil it, if it Squeaks.

    But: Don't Mess with it, if it Works!

    USAF Electronic Technician

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    "If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him."

    USAF - Ammo Troop

    ---------------------------------------------

    "Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil.

    For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

    ---------------------------------------------

    "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3"

    - Paul F. Crickmore ( test pilot )

    ---------------------------------------------

    A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude:

    Latitude is Where We are Lost,

    &

    Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There!

    USAF Navi-guesser

    ---------------------------------------------

    "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

    ---------------------------------------------

    "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter --

    However, it's probably unsafe in any case "

    ---------------------------------------------

    "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane,

    You always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

    ---------------------------------------------

    "What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?

    If a pilot fouls up, the pilot dies;

    If ATC fouls up, . The pilot dies."

    ---------------------------------------------

    "Airspeed, altitude and brains.

    Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the flight."

    ---------------------------------------------

    "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation.

    We never left one up there!"

    ---------------------------------------------

    "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground who is incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."

    ---------------------------------------------

    "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."

    - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

    ---------------------------------------------

    "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."

    - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970

    ---------------------------------------------

    "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

    ---------------------------------------------

    "You know that your landing gear is up and locked

    When it takes FULL power to taxi to the terminal."

    ---------------------------------------------

    As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and

    tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot

    and asks, "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don 't know, I just got here myself!"
    Philippians 2:14 - Do all things without grumbling or questioning,

  • #2
    Re: Some Funnies.....

    My dad was 2o years AF, so he'd probably get a kick out of these. I know enough about what he did to find the humor in most of them

    You did how ever forget his favorite- You can't kick @$$ without tanker gas!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Some Funnies.....

      Great post, Aaron. Very funny.

      Colin
      A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Some Funnies.....

        Good stuff. Thanks Aaron.
        quality creates its own demand

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Some Funnies.....

          Very Funny!! Have got to show a friend of mine who is a retired airman, he will LOVE this!! Thanks for sharing!
          Sleepy

          Love the Classics!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Some Funnies.....

            Nice!!
            Michael


            Talent hits a target no-one else can hit; genius hits targets no-one else can see. - Schopenhauer

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Some Funnies.....

              LOL, those are pretty good! Thanks for sharing bud!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Some Funnies.....

                If you're close enough to stick 'em, you're close enough to shoot 'em. Bill Mauldin's 'Willie and Joe' admonish a nervous recruit who just attached his bayonet to his rifle in the WWII era movie Willie and Joe.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Some Funnies.....

                  Hi!
                  I read your entire post and It is too funny. You posted a very funny quotes. I like ti so much. I could not stop laughing, when I was reading this.
                  Thank you so much for this great sharing.

                  Comment

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